Eurovision favourite Mikolas Josef reveals five-year anxiety battle

By Neil Wilkes, Editor-in-chief | 12h

Eurovision star Mikolas Josef opens up on a five-year battle with anxiety and feeling 'overwhelmed with panic'.

Eurovision star Mikolas Josef has opened up on his mental health struggles in a lengthy social media post.

The 24-year-old won a legion of fans when he competed in the 2018 edition of the annual song contest with the song 'Lie To Me' for the Czech Republic, ultimately finishing in sixth place.

"I have anxiety and over the years it got to its peak early this year," he wrote. "The first time I had one was back in 2016. Fast forward to 2020 my body shakes for 4 hours, heart races like Im having a heart attack, when I stand Im falling down, I cant put words together and my asthma makes it feel like there is no oxygen in the air. The panic that takes over your mind is overwhelming."

He continued: "I cutted social media out of my life because looking at people showing off their success was crushing my self worth to bits. I realized I became shallow. Based my confidence on 20k$ outfits while the inside of me was a wasteland. Realized I paid way too much attention to what people outside the creative circle are saying about my music and that took the love away from it.

"I became distant from myself, my feelings, my values. I felt like a stranger in my own company. I almost never went out, never really had friends or buddies it was complete social isolation and I got so cutted away from the real world that my thoughts were my only companions."

Read Josef's post in full below:

View this post on Instagram

Spring 2020 I came to the record office and said I quit. Out of all the things in this world I ever had the struggle saying this one was the hardest. I was ashamed of looking weak and so instead of saying "I need help" I tried to keep all the pride I had left and walk away from it. Now I know that to show weakness and take the judgement that follows is a sign of strength. I have anxiety and over the years it got to its peak early this year. The first time I had one was back in 2016. Fast forward to 2020 my body shakes for 4 hours, heart races like Im having a heart attack, when I stand Im falling down, I cant put words together and my asthma makes it feel like there is no oxygen in the air. The panic that takes over your mind is overwhelming. Are you Mikolas Josef? "Yes but I wish I wasnt." Sharing this with your family members is emberassing enough simply because you fear they will think lesser of you. Sharing this with the world was just unspeakable for me at the time and I needed space to step back and figure out where to go with my life so that it leads away from this. I cutted social media out of my life because looking at people showing off their success was crushing my self worth to bits. I realized I became shallow. Based my confidence on 20k$ outfits while the inside of me was a wasteland. Realized I paid way too much attention to what people outside the creative circle are saying about my music and that took the love away from it. I became distant from myself, my feelings, my values. I felt like a stranger in my own company. I almost never went out, never really had friends or buddies it was complete social isolation and I got so cutted away from the real world that my thoughts were my only companions. Real success isnt being #1. Aiming for that only fucks you up. You only really feel fullfilled when you love what you do. And I realized that. Found love for the things I do, for the people around me, for me and for my demons too. They are my teachers not my enemies. Every day is worth living. Every day is a lesson. Thanks to all those who suffered through this with me. I cant thank you enough for your bravery. Xoxo M

A post shared by Mikolas Josef (@mikolasjosef) on Aug 31, 2020 at 12:29pm PDT